All posts tagged Love
I love this time of year, here in my city. For about two weeks in the middle of winter, the weather changes and becomes calm, sunny, warm and lovely. Usually it’s the same time as the cherry blossoms bloom and the lost majik of my city once again asserts itself.
All of her denizens become happy, and generous of spirit, as if they had beef freed from the yoke of slavery. Slavery to the cold, the wet, to the indoors and each other.
It is also the month I have chosen for my birthday.
Since at the time of my first birth, calendars weren’t yet invented. People tracked time the old fashioned way, with the rising of the moon, the raising of crops or the passing of sons in war.
But about a thousand years ago I decided to celebrating the birthday of my current incarnation as my true birthday.
But I digress…
I love my city, but she’s having troubles. The gulf between rich and poor is no more apparent than here. Mocking all of us with a horrible reflection of our leaders ideas of our future.
I have never really believed in politics or ism’s
That was always my brothers job. I was content to stand by and watch, to be the commentary on life. But now that he passed, his mantle of activism has bled into my soul and won’t go away. As much as I try it seems to assert itself when I least expect it.
Indeed. I get lost at times when I write. Deciding to move with the flow as opposed to the thought.
My city, my beautiful morally bankrupt city, is still the only place I call home. The only place that calls my name as I walk her streets at night, climb her hill during the day.
Whispering to me in the slightest of ways.
As long as there is winter-spring, I’ll believe her.
My original title for this sermon was “With us or Agin’ us”. (You need to put in a low life white trash accent on it to really get the vibe). But I need to put a forward on this one so you understand the context of it amid the last few days.
War cannot be won by violence. The battles maybe, but the underlying issues never, ever go away. They just fester and putrefy. War can only be won by changing our belief-our hearts and minds- that there is a difference between the warring parties. That “we are better than you”, is not real. I know that’s hard when you are given the choices by those in power of “With us or Agin’ us”, all of the time. It’s a mantra that is-at least in our country- pushed by the white rich ruling class, and is parroted down by those who crave to be them one day.
“Maybe if I sound like them, act like them, I could be them!”
But no, that’s not how it works. So this sermon is for all the Stupid white people who think that it’s possible to be a Parrot and an Eagle at the same time.
I read a Facebook post from some white couple calmly saying that if you don’t speak English, you shouldn’t live here. That if you are a Muslim and you want Sharia law here, you should go back to where you came from. That this country is a Christian country like it or not. Love it or leave it. That we tolerate the rest of you infidels living side by side with us, is about all we can take.
So my first thoughts after reading this were these…..I am totally sick of idiot white people! There I’ve said it. You guys are a bunch of…..let me put it this way. If parrots and lemmings were able to breed, you’d be their offspring!
“Lemmingrots” would be a good name.
“With us or agin’ us”. Fuck that. Are there only two choices in life for Americans now? So Il Duce has bombed a Iranian leader in Iraq and this is good? His poll numbers go up, his donations are pouring in and he is now the savior again. You’re all proud of him???
(Please use white trash voice here). “What impeachment? Impeachement, imsmeschment”!
“That was all a ruse by some unpatriotic Americans-probably some ferners like that AOC bitch over there and that radical towhead Talib”.
Well I only really have this to say about that…..Fuck you guys with your sanctimonious standing tall with Christ at your back. Saying this has ALWAYS been a christian nation and if we don’t like it, we should go back to where we came from. Christ would hate you mother fuckers for saying that. He’d be like….
“Just pimp slap these people until they start listening to me”.
So you feel more American and have more pride when our military is involved. The might of arms makes you feel your truth…..? Penis envy much???We bomb a leader of another nation and that’s OK. “He was going to bomb us, He already attacked us. He’s planning more things!”
Most likely all true but why….
I asked y’all a question…WHY the fuck would he do that?
Why the fuck should anyone in the region want to hate us so bad? Maybe the better question is Why the fuck are we in the region to begin with? I know the answer……Do you? Can you guess? It rhymes with Moil, Soil, Foil and toil…That’s right Money!
We are there to protect oil interests, not people. We give not one shit about anyone over there least of all our allies. Just look at the kurds. Beasties one day, disposable the next. We don’t intervene when the Saudis or the Turks commit mass murder. We basically do squat when Syria gasses their population. But fuck with our money and we are gonna come and get you! All under the guise of patriotism.
“With us or agin’ us”…..
The battle cry of the Braindead!
This is the eternal battle. Not good and evil, not even right or wrong, but fact vs faith. And much to the world’s chagrin, it is both a losing and winning battle. Let me explain:
Faith always, always wins in the short term. That’s just fact! There is no arguing with someone who is bound by faith to believe in what they believe. The world is flat and afterwards there are monsters. But with enough time and peoples curiosity, that piece of faith goes away. People sail to the edge of the world and lo and behold, it isn’t there.
There is no more flat world belief. (Although there are some folks who would still argue the point today. But they’re just crrrazy)! The beautiful thing about fact is that its empirical. Either it is or it isn’t, and there is proof to back up your claim. Verifiable and undeniable. The beautiful thing about faith is that it needs no proof, only the ability for someone to let go of all reason and believe that something is true. Completely deniable and utterly unverifiable, and they both can exist side by side amicably…if not for ego.
The problem is that a majority of people can’t allow both systems of belief to exist simultaneously, because it breaks the covenant that they have entered into with their own belief system. “Thou shalt have no god before me”!! It cracks the shell of their ego. A man who believes in the “word of god” with all of his breath, will not believe in evolution. Not matter how much proof exists. A man who believes in evolution and has spent his life exploring it, will never accept the “word of god” as fact, because there is no proof.-just fairly tales to tell the kids, so they are not afraid of the unknown. This is the way it is and the way it’s always been.
Of course there is a middle ground, but very few folk live there and there lies the rub. We live in a world which requires both. We need fact and science and the ability to admit we were wrong about something when proof is presented to us. In the same breath, we need to believe so hard in things that are never manifest because it soothes our soul. It makes us better. It makes us strive to be and do things that are brave and new.
AND that is the problem today.
I have long running arguments about politics and faith with different folks from around the globe. Topics that span Brexit to Saudi Arabian aggression, to apartheid in Israel. But my favorite are ones come out of a particular part of the country that is on the Atlantic coast and sounds like New Jerky. They believe that what is going on right now is a sham, a witch hunt (to quote Il Duce) and none of the charges nor indictments and convictions are with merit. Everyone is innocent except the accusers.
There is no empirical facts for their position and no supportive evidence except for imaginary groups of deep state manipulators who are reprogramming voters, hijacking the media and have only one purpose in mind. The overthrow of this president.
OK- I accept their position…mostly because I can’t change it, but also because it’s their right to be as stupid as they want to be. (I never claimed this was a PC sermon). So when they ask me about my faith, my positions. my philosophical bent. I tell them my truth.
I am a reincarnated soul who was cursed/blessed with the memory of most of my lives. I was born the son of Gomer on the decks of the ark. I was anointed by Elijah to be a holy man and to do gods bidding and have failed miserably since then. I am 4781 years old.
When they hear this they all have the same response, “Rev- you are so full of shit, it’s sad. That’s impossible”! . But I always reply with-“how can you be so hypocritical to believe one thing without proof while vehemently denying another thing without proof. Where is the bar, the standard by which you measure truth? They inevitably reply with the same exact thing.
I know what’s in my heart, that I’m right and you’re wrong.
Kablamoo- and there it is. The reason this moment in politics is going to get uglier. Because it will be a battle of hearts and being 4781 years old I’ve never seen that battle go well…..for anybody! Just blood and guts everywhere, until enough time has passed for faith to leave and fact to breeze in…….
Flowing freely amongst the dead.
That’s right, sick of it!
Sick of sycophantic myopic businessmen that parade around as public servants. Sick of villainous white men who lurk in the shadows waiting for any chance to put down anything they hate. Sick of sheep mascarading as people following leaders that actually hate them and have non compunction about using them. Sick of the media rhetoric. Sick of nepotism. Sick of the White house and all the grifters who live in there. Sick of the GOP who have turned into a bunch of mealy mouthed Woosies who won’t breathe a word of dissent for fear of retribution.
FUCK YOU ALL!!
Your time is coming. Your tricks are no longer working. Your compatriots are falling and going to jail. Your time is coming and nothing will stop it. Because we-the VOTERS are not as stupid as you pray we are. Your double speak and obfuscation of the truth, your outright lies and slander will no longer work. We understand. WE understand. WE UNDERSTAND!!
(Sturm und Drang-Sneak peak of off the new album SHITHOLE NATION)
SHITHOLE NATION is a story about a country, any country-OUR country- in the midst of a revolution, in the midst of a gut wrenching, soul searching battle for an identity.
Who are we? What do we stand for? How have we gotten here? Do the icons of truth and honor still hold up today? Brother against brother, mothers against daughters. Facts have become vague, truth becomes rare and bitter old hatreds have arrived. Much like the civil war of the 1800’s, the belief that some are better than others, has come back to haunt us.
Maybe bury us….The only way to stop it…..is to BE THE REVOLUTION.
SHITHOLE NATION-A voice in the revolution.
#lordrifa, #bottomofthehill, #NorcalFiresrelief
That’s me, to the core.
I used to want to believe that I was a good man, a good man with bad traits or a lost soul who has no clue searching for the truth. But sadly, that not true. I’m just a bad reverend with spit and vinegar running through his veins instead of love and light. The plain and simple fact is….that’s how it’s always been. Spit and vinegar has run through my families veins for millennia.
So you ask;
“Well rev, what brings this up? Why now are you coming clean with us now after all of these years”?
As of late, a few readers have told me how much they love my florid sermons. The ones with deep thoughts and no cursing. The ones where I use the English language to its fullest, it’s most eloquent forms. Where I bathe in the luxury of language. But that’s not me really. That’s just me trying to be someone else.
I am a Brutalist. (Look it up)
I read flowery posts from folks and I want to throw up. I find the “California hug” insufferable. I eschew vapid emotional outbursts for the sake of showing the community that you care, that you’re in love……
I take pride in that as well. As fucked up as it is it’s true. My veneer of concrete will never be broken.
A true story:
In a different lifetime, I had a girlfriend who had many sisters. One of the sisters had a young son who had some emotional issues at the time. I need to point out before I resume, that this child has turned out to be a wonderful man who is kind and responsible. The goddess would be pleased and proud.
As I was saying the child had a few issues and was prone to fantastically overblown outbursts of anger. Now his mom would do her best to help the child, but as it takes with some folks, time and wisdom were needed to be present to help him make the changes needed to become the man he is today.
We went out to dinner one night, some place where they still had those wonderful comfy booths back to back and Killer (we used to call him “Killer”) was having a hard time at dinner when all of a sudden he sat up, turned around on his knees facing the booth behind and at the top of his lungs with machine gun precision shouted out; “FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU”.
He turned back around and sat quietly for the rest of the meal.
Needless to say everyone was horrified: everyone but me. I was rolling in the aisles almost breathless from laughing so hard. The table behind us was in a state of disarray and disbelief. It looked like the Caribbean after hurricane Irma! The man’s toupee was in his pasta, bowls were overturned, clothes strewn everywhere, children were crying and the mother was shouting something at us which sounded like English, but I couldn’t really hear her over the sound of my own laughter. But from then on, every so often, Killer would let the fuck you’s rip, always out of nowhere, always when he couldn’t find the right words.
Now back to the blog:
I have never let go of Killer in my head. When I read those flowery posts I think FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU as if he was right next to me in that booth, both of us on our knees screaming. When someone whom I don’t really like or even know comes up to me and tries to hug me I think; FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU.
I can’t help it, lord knows I’ve tried but it comes soaring out of the back of my mind with ballistic speeds.
I, of course, respond in reality with all of the proper decorum one should have, let alone someone who pretends to be a man of the cloth. I use the correct “like buttons” on Facebook or nod my head and smile that inane vapid smile. I make the small talk that says “I’m here making contact” but am actually sitting with Killer in that booth. I try to get away as fast as possible from the hug but when cornered I allow it to happen.
Still I hear Killer, screaming-not knowing what he’s doing is socially wrong. Not knowing that in one moment he is breaking apart long-standing traditions of grace and decorum.
Sometimes it’s the only thing that conveys the correct emotion.
I’m a Brutalist and I call it as I see it.